A Bird In A Tree.

It's stupid how busy we allow ourselves to be. None of the real stuff gets done. Keeping in touch with people.

I padded into the study the other morning before work, screwing my knuckles into my eyes. Checked email. There was a message from someone asking if I was still alive. I wrote back saying yeah, still alive, just busy, we're all so fucking busy.

Sun was just coming up. Clear day, the scent of spring flower in the air. There was this bird in the tree just outside the window, its crystal chime pinginging sweetly into this new day. Like it was singing out to me, "There are good things for you today Grumpy... or Quick... or Lee or whatever your name is. Small and wonderful, good things. Shiny things of goodness. Trust me on this. I'm a bird in a tree, and I know such things."

And words formed patterns in my head as a poem of epic proportions took shape, and I added a PS to my email to the friend who had asked if I was dead:

I wish I was as happy
As a bird in a tree.
I'd poo on all the busy people
And fluff my feathers with glee.

Me And Laurie Anderson.

How do you make a great show better? The star lets you hang out with them for a while after the show. This is one very happy me with one very gorgeous human being.

Laurie Anderson Interview With Drum

HOMELANDERSON

NEW YORK PERFORMANCE ARTIST LAURIE ANDERSON IS ABOUT TO HIT SYDNEY WITH HER LATEST PROJECT HOMELAND. WHILE SHE WAS IN MEXICO, LEE BEMROSE MANAGED TO CHAT WITH HER ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING BUT THE VERY THING HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING TO HER ABOUT.

Mention the name Laurie Anderson and you almost always get one of two reactions. People either think she is an awesome artist and love everything she has done, or they ask, “Laurie who?” Those familiar with her work generally find it hard to believe the latter types exist, but astonishingly, there are quite a few of them. This says a lot about the nature of the artist’s work: she’s a truly unique artist who has achieved world-wide critical and commercial success whilst maintaining an artistic integrity that ensures she will remain outside the vision of those focused solely on mainstream pop culture.

A New York-based performance artist, Laurie Anderson’s career took off in the early ‘80s with the success of the unlikely hit O Superman (“Oh that Laurie Anderson,” the Laurie Who’s will be saying right about now). A strange, hypnotic and ominous anthem of anti-Americana, it reached a huge audience thanks largely to the support of Brit DJ John Peel. A genuinely original and quite brave track, O Superman was the launch of a remarkable career that shows no signs of slowing down, nor does it show any signs of artistic fatigue.

Currently touring her latest project Homeland, I was lucky enough to catch up with the artist over the phone during her stopover in Mexico where she is taking part in the Monterrey Forum, a three-month long meeting and discussion of worldwide cultural and artistic diversity. It seems perfectly fitting that this observer of both the wonder and tragedy of humanity should be taking part in such an event, and she sounds excited to be there – albeit it her measured and quietly intelligent way.

“The context is quite interesting. It’s a big forum about culture and technology and politics, and so for three months all these people come to Monterrey to talk about all this kind of stuff. It’s great because we don’t have anything like this in The States... where everyone kind of drops things and says, ‘well you know, where are we going here?’ We have a lot of those high tech events where we’re supposed to be talking about things like that, but people just talk about the new iPod.”

It’s a modest conversation opener but from what I can gather, it’s pure Laurie Anderson. She’s a political artist with a human heart and the cold eye of the observer. She loves New York but doesn’t think twice about telling things as they are, so if something is done better outside America, that’s just the way it is. No blind patriotism here, it would seem. Quite the opposite.

While much of the former NASA Writer In Residence’s work is filled with off-kilter whimsy and even occasional heartache, it is also laced with scathing irony and hard-hitting political and social commentary. She is quite appalled with America’s obsession with money and laments where the hunger for the dollar is taking society.

“The amount of privatisation and the role of corporations has really changed everything in the sense that the war in Iraq is being run by companies who have zero interest in stopping it. I think the best example of how corporations have changed things is prisons. 10 years ago there were something like 350,000 people in prison. Then they were privatised and now there’s 3 million people in prison.” Point being – it’s in a private prison’s interest for laws to be as absurdly tight as possible.

These criticisms of American politics and economics flow as freely in conversation as they do lyrically in music. Check out the film clip of Only An Expert – dark, almost savage humour swirls with lacerating commentary on the discussion of climate change and the search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. It pours scorn on the cult of The Expert, as well as our willingness or even eagerness to always seek out the opinion of an expert when maybe – just maybe – we don’t really need an expert’s version of what’s going on. We’re not that stupid... are we?

Laurie Anderson is a political artist and a social commentator, no question. But she is also a pure artist in that she understands that joy and tenderness and anger and sadness and tragedy and harmony and discordance are all part of the human experience.

It’s such a fleeting conversation in which we touch on such topics as the nature of story telling; optimism versus pessimism; the inevitable fall of empires; NASA stories; the repugnance of the recent APEC meeting; the garden of Eden; the human tenderness that emerged from 911; the current court battle over who owns the moon...

“Okay... they are coming to pick me up,” I’m told as reception starts to waver and fade. “I’m going to take my cell phone with me and hope I don’t lose you in the elevator. Is there a final question you’d like to finish with?”

Erm... there are thousands.

“Um – Homeland,” I say, wondering why I left it so late. “What’s it going to be like? What are we in for?”

“Well... it’s... show... ut... and kind of... on... and... you know?”

I want to shout into the phone, “Laurie you’re breaking up - please get back out of the elevator before it’s too late...”

But with that she is gone. The line is quiet. But I think I know. Her shows – her projects – are always dazzling multi-media affairs incorporating the electric hum of technology with the warmth of human story-telling; the punch of politics with sensual musical delight; gentle anger with wry humour.

And unlike her angels being blown backwards into the future, she doesn’t look back at her past work very much. We probably won’t see Homeland in Sydney again.

WHO: Laurie Anderson.
WHEN & WHERE: Sydney Opera House 21 & 22 October.

An interview, Of Sorts, With Meret.

DRY & SWIRLY

Meret may not be a household name here, but in Germany and wider Europe she is showbiz royalty. As she brings her latest collaborative act to Australia, LEE BEMROSE didn’t quite manage to catch up with her for Drum Media.

A few interesting facts about Meret Becker: She is a very successful singer and actress. The 39 year old’s acting career started with a feature film at the age of 17 and there’s been no turning back. She has a string of features under her belt including Spielberg’s 2005 release Munich. She’s worked with a wide variety of artists and directors including Wim Wenders, U2 and industrial noise makers Einsturzende Neubaten – this last showing that the German band generally known for sounding as musical as a box of hammers being slowly tipped onto a tin roof does have a sensitive side.

But what to expect of her latest collaboration with musical trio Ars Vitalis? The show is called Harmonie Desastres and features a trio of musicians who have been described as musical clowns. One is a drummer, another a guitarist and the third plays the clarinet. They play their own compositions, they play covers, they apparently play found objects if the opportunity arises. Chaotic and surreal are two adjectives you will almost certainly stumble upon in any write up of their performances.

So. Kooky cabaret from Berlin, a multi-talented uber-babe fronting a trio of absurdist musos... who wouldn’t want to know more? I phoned Meret’s Berlin number at the agreed time... and phoned and kept on phoning. An hour and a half later more calls were made involving publicists and agents and it transpired the international telephone network had not gone into meltdown as suspected, but Meret had simply switched off her phone because she needed to sleep in. As you do.

Still, who could bear a grudge? Perhaps that’s exactly the way all us mere mortals would act if we were so breath-takingly gorgeous and head-bendingly talented.

Plan B was launched, fingers were crossed that the artist could stay awake for long enough to answer some questions by email at her convenience (provided it was immediately because deadline was already fading deep into last week).

Answers finally arrived. Yes they are short. Yes they get to the point. Yes they carry a few factual misconceptions that are actually quite charming and possibly intentionally flaky. Certainly they are funny and do reveal a very Meret way of seeing the world. Much debate still rages about the existence or not of a German sense of humour. Read on and I think you will believe...

Have you been working this weekend or relaxing?
"Sleeping, all day, now I need to relax."

What do you do to relax when you are not working? What ís your favourite thing to do with your time?
"Sleeping, all day. Sleeping, all day."


I’m having to email these questions to you because it seems you switched your phone off to sleep in. Did you have a big one last night?
"Yes I had a big one. A big sleep. I like to sleep. All night, all day, sleeping sleeping."

You’ve had a successful career that combines several areas of creativity, especially singing and acting. Which of the two do you enjoy the most and why?
"I do not enjoy. It's hard work."

When did you start working with the trio Ars Vitalis and how did that collaboration come about?
"We started 15 years ago in a cabaret in Berlin. It was love at first sight."

Why do you like working with this particular group?
"They understand me and there’s not many of them."

Isn’t three a crowd?
"What? No. A crowd is a crowd. Three is a trio. You are a bit silly, but I like you."

Cabaret seems to be have been taking an increasing turn towards anarchy and humour in recent years. Does humour play a big part in Harmonie Desastres?
"Yes, but WE are playing the bigger part!"

What does the title mean?
"In French "harmonie des astres" means the sound of the atmosphere, the stars. If you take the sound of those words, it includes the words "harmony" and "disaster". We think it describes our sound very well."

Can you tell us a little about the show itself? The kinds of things to expect to see and hear? What styles of music will we hear?
"It's a violent mixture, without any concept, except that we and the audience should enjoy. We are doing cover versions and our own music, and we are coming from very different backgrounds, such as free jazz, cabaret, theatre, circus... whatsoever, and this you can hear through the music."

You’ve been touring the show for a year or so now, is that correct?
How much does it develop and change, if at all, with time?
"We toured it for one year. Now we are playing it in stages and developing it. Especially for the different countries."

Rightly or wrongly, Germans have a reputation for having a strange sense of humour. Some would say no sense of humour. What are your thoughts on this?
"It's dry, it swirls."

Do you know much about the Australian sense of humour?
"You eat crocodiles."

In which parts of the world have you been getting the best audience reactions?
"Tokyo, Paris, Barcelona, Kongsberg, Berlin, Budapest, Wädenswill... look out, it's a high competition!"

Is this your first visit to Australia? What are your expectations of the Australian people?
"Yes, first time. They are wearing hats and throwing didjeridoos, no?"

And what about the country itself? I read somewhere that you are pretty scared of all of our dangerous animals and insects. Is that still the case?
"Yes... huge rats hopping around..."

What would you say to Australian fans of cabaret to encourage them to come along to your Harmonie Desastres?
"What good is sitting alone in your room, come hear the music play, life is a cabaret..."

WHAT: Harmonie Desastres.
WHEN & WHERE: Sydney Opera House 11 & 12 October.

A Bit Of Whimsy

Two Shadows

Lee Bemrose

Eliot had been alone for so much of his life that he’d all but forgotten there could be an alternative. He was a drifter, and that was that. People tried, occasionally, to befriend him, but it always became apparent that he was not interested in their friendship. He was alone, and content enough to be so.

It hadn’t always been that way. There had been the almost bright years of tentative hope, the times when he dreamed of it being another way. The cosmos had always whispered a promise that there was another for everyone. Eliot saw it in nature, in the most unlikely couplings, and it created an ache inside. He searched their eyes, offered them his reluctant smile, but he could not find his promised other. In time he accepted that the cosmic whisper was a lie. For some, Eliot knew, there was simply solitude.

Eliot sometimes thought that if had been a different type of person, a more robust character, he might have handled his secret differently, and that could have made the world of difference. Instead of hiding it like a thing of shame, another person might have held it up with pride. They might even have had the temerity to present it to a disbelieving (and dare he think it – awestruck?) world as a gift from God. Why not? Some are adulated for their talent, but what was talent but an oddity fate had bestowed upon them? Searing beauty, a heavenly voice, insatiable curiosity or skill with a ball, these were nothing more than chance results of genetic fate, and yet those blessed with such oddities conquered the world.

But there would be no world-conquering for Eliot. When his peculiarity had first been noticed by someone outside the family, his father had taught him the tricks of concealment, and thus ushered in the shame. If only during those sensitive years when he saw kingdoms in the clouds and marveled at the mystery of a creature as alien as a lizard cocking it’s head to look a boy in the eye, when he was a soft and unshaped thing, if only his father had treated it all with less reverence Eliot might have conquered the world. Or at least been a part of it.

But he had been told by his father that it was a thing to be concealed, so Eliot concealed. He learned the tricks, learned how to appear normal, he learned to deceive. When that period of his time had passed when he hoped there might be the luxury of another, he wandered.

And eventually he wondered: If I can’t be me, why am I here?

Eliot decided that there must be another place for him. No place on this Earth, but some other place. He eventually decided it was time to leave.

On a clear, still night exposed to the white glare of a full moon, Eliot climbed the disused bridge. He climbed the rusted iron with the same stoicism he’d performed all his tasks through all his life. Each task was simply something that must be done.

Eliot was not expecting to see someone else on the bridge. He had intended to end his life the way he had lived it, but here was this other peering out into the void, and Eliot could sense somehow that she too had had enough of life in this world. And where Eliot had considered his own solitary departure the most natural thing, he felt a shock of unbearable sadness that another could feel the same.

She saw him in the moonlight, just as she was about to leap, and it was just as though Eliot had caught her, caught her in his arms, caught her just in time.

The full moon stared blankly down at them, and when Eliot had somehow convinced her that there was more left to be done, she noticed Eliot’s secret, and she was puzzled.

“You have two shadows,” she told him. “How is that so?”

And Eliot, gazing down, smiled with a joy he’d never felt in his entire life.

“You have no shadow,” Eliot replied. “How is that so?”

They moved closer together and looked down at their two shadows, and saw a new beginning.

O Thor

I chatted with Laurie Anderson. Holy fuck that is funny. Me. I did. I have a tape with me and Laurie Anderson talking to each other. I wish I was cooler and was not impressed with this, but I am not cool and I am impressed and just in love with the fact that it happened.

She is a lovely person. Christ - so thoughtful and considerate and a total brain and I think I only asked one really stupid question.

Anyway, I'm a bit impressed that it happened at all especially given the lack of sleep... I can't even remember what sequence things happened in today. I know I got home from work around 11pm, stayed up reading and checking my questions until about 3am, then realised that I needed a phone number to call at the arranged time of 8.30am. There were some emails flying around the planet. Mix ups with telephone prefixes. My brain dreamed me awake at 6am with some silliness about talking to Laurie's agent. There was an email from him saying try this number and it's now going to be 9.30 instead of 8.30 and I went back to couch clutching my phone only for The Dreaded One to wake me up because it was 8am and didn't I need to make the call in half an hour and fuck it was hard not to be cranky.

In the end, I talked to Laurie Anderson while she was in Monterey, Mexico. For me, she is up there with David Bowie and Tom Waits and others I can't think of right now because I am way tired.

Just finished story and sent it off. I think it works. I think it's okay. I hope it's okay. I think it's okay. Will post it here when it comes out in the mag.

Got to try to sleep. Nighty night.

Live From The Mental Asylum Of Love.

Because some of you asked, here are the rest of the lyrics of my love song to Meow Meow.

Comatose With Desire

By Lee Bemrose,

For Meow Meow.


I would walk the desert sands for you,
Move mountains and part seas for you,
I would hold my breath and turn blue for you,
You make me comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

Your presence penetrates me,
It envelopes and smothers me,
You choke the very life out of me,
And make me comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

Your beauty intoxicates,
It makes my pupils dilate,
And my heart fibrillate,
I’m so comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

To know you is to know humility,
You degrade and humiliate me,
And leave me snivelly and whimpery,
And comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

My unrequited lust for you,
Has crushed my heart, it’s true,
And another vital organ or two,
And left me comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

I am a peaceful village,
That you rape and pillage,
My heart buuuurns for yoooo... because you set it on fire,
I am comatose with desire.

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

Your indifference to me
Has made me quite loony,
I am drugged...
And bound...
And dribbling...
In the... mental... asylum... of love...

Comatose with desire,
Comatose with desire,
You make me
Comatose with desire.

Long Arms Of Time

Once upon a long time ago, I heard the song O Superman. Must have been in the same year it came out. I bought the vinyl single. I shared it with friends, some of whom laughed. I understood their initial amusement, but what I didn't get was why they didn't get why this was such a great piece of music. I was quietly amazed. Young guy from the shitty suburbs hearing this amazing music... just amazed. Spent many nights alone in my dingy one roomer falling asleep to Big Science. Awake and dreaming of the possibilities of imagination.

If I went back in time from now and told me that one day, long time from now, things will be different and you will be speaking to the creator of all this gorgeous and sad musical storytelling that you love so much, I would have said get the fuck out of my dingy one roomer you deluded fuckwit.

Funny how things can change.

Hayfever Man signing out.

How Many Germans Does It Take To Be Funny?

Had to do an emailer with German cabaret performer Meret because she switched off her phone at the arranged time because she wanted to sleep in. Wasted an hour an a half of my time while I kept trying to call, but at least she got to sleep in.

Thing is, I totally don't mind. She seems cool and she might even be funny - in spite of the German thing. You know, German version of the light bulb joke is "How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One." It's actually funny.

I asked her about the German sense of humour:

Rightly or wrongly, Germans have a reputation for having a strange sense of humour. Some would say no sense of humour. What are your thoughts on this?
It's dry, it swirls.

Next question was :

Do you know much about the Australian sense of humour?
You eat crocodiles.

I dunno, but I think that is pretty funny.

Hoping the story goes to print as is because I had a bit of fun with it too. Here's a bit of the intro:

DRY & SWIRLY

Meret may not be a household name here, but in Germany and wider Europe she is showbiz royalty. As she brings her latest collaborative act to Australia, Lee Bemrose didn’t quite manage to catch up with her.

A few interesting facts about Meret Becker: She is a very successful singer and actress. The 39 year old’s acting career started with a feature film at the age of 17 and there’s been no turning back. She has a string of features under her belt including Spielberg’s 2005 release Munich. She’s worked with a wide variety of artists and directors including Wim Wenders, U2 and industrial noise makers Einsturzende Neubaten – this last showing that the German band generally known for sounding as musical as a box of hammers being slowly tipped onto a tin roof does have a sensitive side.

Will post the rest when the story comes out next week.

2007 is my year of Promising Stuff That Didn't Come Through, so I'm not telling you about what else is happening at da mo. But stuff is happening. Good writing stuff. Will let you know when the time is right. Tired of getting excited and then disappointed.

Also, Laurie Anderson is coming to Sydney. October 21 & 22. I crapped my pants with happiness when I got my tickets.