Big Picture Guy

Last night on the way home from another party, walking down the street, I hear the words, "Hey - there's Quick and The Dreaded One." There's a group of friends strolling across the road drinking from wine glasses. Nice glasses, like Reidel. It's like they've just gotten up from the dinner table and decided to go for a walk around the block to see who they bump into... which is exactly what happened. We swap details about our respective Christmases, then one tells us that S has got a new tattoo.

"Show them your tattoo, S," one of them says.

So S lifts her dress up. Right up. It's a huge tattoo that starts midway up her smooth thigh and climbs all the way up the side of her silky torso. It's a huge, sprawling tattoo that I almost don't see because of her tiny little undies.

We walk for a bit, then say goodbye to go our separate ways. I thank S very much for showing us her undies. I should probably have focused a little more on the tattoo. It's probably a very nice tattoo.

In my defense, however, I would like to say that I was a little drunk and in any case I'm male and what do you expect when someone flashes their knickers at you in the middle of the street like that? And alsotooaswell, they were very pretty little undies and it's completely normal to like things that are little and pretty. So fuck off with your... your one raised eyebrow and silent accusations of sweaty perviness.