First World Problems? Moi?

Some aspects of this tale might come across as what some of you like to label "First World Problems" ... judgmental fuckers that you are.

So, like, I came back from an absolutely awesome dance festival feeling in absolute agony. Muscles so sore from sooo much dancing to soooo much good music. The soreness of my leg muscles triggered memories of happiness, which was horrible because my face muscles were also aching from all the smiling and laughter that had taken place over this treacherously Bacchanalian weekend.

Working in my cafe, I'd kind of hoped to ease into this short three day week after four days off, but noooooo... all of our regulars who made do with some other cafe the day before ALL came back for breakfast and coffee and then lunch as well and we got properly spanked. Jesus. It was relentless. And they told us things like how they missed us and that they were glad we were open again and I think this was their passive aggressive way of saying they think we should never close again because they like our breakfast and coffee and food so much.

Fuckers.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, I broke out in a sweat when I heard London Grammar on the radio... no doubt the torment of London Grammar cancelling their previous Melbourne gig (simply because I got all OMG OMG OMG!!! excited about them) burns in your mind, so you can possibly almost imagine the utter, utter, utter, utter, utter anguish that squished me when I suddenly wondered if perhaps their re-scheduled gig was tonight. WHAT IF LONDON GRAMMAR ARE PLAYING TONIGHT???!!! I CAN'T POSSIBLY SEE LONDON GRAMMAR TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THE SPANK AND THE SORE OF THE MUSCLES AND THE FACE-ACHE FROM SMILING AND LAUGHING AND DANCING AT AN AMAZING DANCE FESTIVAL!!! FUCK!!!

I have never - NEVER - been through such a traumatic episode in my entire life.

The only good that came out of this is that - and you are going to be so relieved to hear this - London Grammar are not playing until Saturday night. Oh what a happy ending to this nightmare of a day.