Just got back from a theatre opening night. Short review: What in the fuck was that all about? Where do I start? I can't start with the free tiny little sandwiches because there were NO free tiny little sandwiches. Can't start with the free tiny little sausage rolls because there were no free tiny little sausage rolls either. And free booze? What free booze? Seriously, WTF? I couldn't believe what I wasn't doing - so much so that I checked my ticket envelope because surely there had to be vouchers for free tiny little sandwiches and tiny little sausage rolls and free booze. Guess what? No vouchers for anything. I checked upstairs in case there was a secret party with tiny little sandwiches and tiny little sausage rolls and free booze and guess what? NO secret party with free tiny little anythings. I even waited for an hour for the commoners to leave because then surely they would trundle out more tiny little sandwiches and tiny little sausage rolls and free booze than you can poke a stick and, but guess what? No late free secret party either! It was a fucking joke! Those fuckers think they're going to get a good review out of me? Ha! HA! They will rue the fucking day...
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