Venom & Grace

Public announcement
of private thoughts
accusations claiming
grace over venomous voice.

Venomous voice was mute
until graceless actions
awakened dark voice
judging, judging
accurately.

But "Grace" is righteously claimed
in this public place.
but in another
private place
hey my boobs my boobs my fun boobs
my boyfriends dick in your face.

Grace.

I give to you my venom.
I take from you
your utter lack
of grace.

Outside Visiting Hours

Those late night demons,
Those 4am demons
Those 4am demon voices
That wake you,
And keep you awake
With their all-knowing Truth,
With their relentless
Telling you
And telling you
And telling you
And judging you...

Those late night, 4am demons,
They are manageable
During visiting hours.
But when you start to notice them,
And hear them,
And listen to them
During your wide-awake hours,
After your visiting hours.

And they keep telling you
And telling you
And telling you things
And judging you
In a voice louder than
The voices in the visiting hours...

When this happens,
There is no escape.

And Then You Are Gone

No one asks
Because you seem sorted,
Your own place,
Your own love,
Your own friends
You seem sorted.
You're okay,
You're fine
You seem sorted
And fine
And okay,
You seem to be all of these things

No one asks.

And then you are gone.

Forever Love

I want to go
He said
I really don't want
You to go
She said
But I need to go
I said
Please don't go
She said
I don't want to go,
I said
Even though
For the longest time
I've wanted to go.

And now I have gone
So you have
She said
You have gone forever
I miss you and love you
And somehow
He whispered back
From the forever
I miss you too
And I'll miss you forever
And ever,
My forever love.

At Gold Beach

At Gold Beach

At Gold Beach, Oregon
Somewhere nearby,
Fires burn.
Heavy smoke darkens the light,
And in the hazy smoke,
Shapes of things loom.
The summer looks like winter
Smoke like mist
Above us
A blood red sun
Scatters fire on the ocean
Later
A blood red moon
Stares accusingly down.

In the dark
In the forever black dark
I listen to the waves
Crunch insistently against the sand
And I think about the light.
I want the light
She wants the dark
So I lie there in her dark
And think about my light,
I dream about going
Into the light
Into the light,
Into the forever light.

Self Esteem

My friend made a guitar,
A beautiful guitar
From the warmest wood
With his own hands.
Can you make a guitar
From wood,
With your own hands?

No, I cannot make a guitar
From wood
With My own hands.

I wove these threads
And made this thing,
This complex thing of knots.
Can you weave these threads
To make this complex thing of knots?

No, I cannot weave threads
To make complex knots
That make a thing of beauty.

My friend makes music,
She teaches music,
She is a creator of music.
Can you make music?

No, I cannot make music,
I cannot teach music,
I cannot create music.

I have this other friend,
This awesome friend,
His food is to die for,
It's seriously good food.
Can you make food that's to die for?

No, my food is ordinary,
I am no culinary wiz,
My food is not to die for.

That person there,
He juggles and twirls,
Look how he juggles and twirls,
A magician of movement.
Can you juggle and twirl?

No, I cannot juggle
And I cannot twirl.
I'm not a juggler or a twirler,
Certainly no magician of movement,
I am none of these things.

I know this guy,
This mega rich guy,
Who built his empire,
On plastic and rubber.
Can you build an empire
On plastic and rubber?
Any empire at all?

No, I am not an empire builder,
I know nothing of plastic
Or rubber
Or empires either.

In fact, I'm not very good
At Anything at all.

White Goth

I had a dream in which my hair was thick and grey.
I said to someone, I think I'll change the colour of my hair.
I think I'll make it white.
Death-white, because death is white.

And thinking about my white death,
I was okay,
Because we all die.
Enjoy the love,
Because 100 years from now
Everyone you know will be dead.

And then I had a dream,
in which I had no dreams.

The Never

I looked for you
She said into the never
But I couldn't find you.
Were you there?

I was there
He said back into the never,
You just didn't see me
And I didn't know you were there.

Ghost Train

Girl on a train,
Prettiest girl I ever saw,
I think you saw me looking at you,
I think you smiled,
But I looked away.

Girl on a train,
Prettiest girl I ever saw,
When you looked through the window,
Were you looking at me?
While I looked at you?
Ghostly reflections.

Girl on a train,
Train pulls away,
One last time I see you,
Looking through the window, ghostly reflection,
Girl on a train,
Prettiest girl I ever saw.

Sleeping Dog

The best part of the day
Is when it's dark
And quiet,
Gentle and grey,
And there is the possibility
Of something.

The day will break,
but now there are lingering lights,
A hangover from the night.
And so many possibilities,
Of bright things.

In the early hours,
Time slows,
Time is gentle,
Time is quiet and grey,
And Out There is so far away.

I'm not happy in this grey,
This peace,
This hangover,
This shadow of possibility,
But at least that dog is quiet.

And I might just make it through to see
Another quiet,
Gentle, grey beginning,
Of another day.