Being Quiet

I seem to be stuck in a rut. It seems that every time I open my mouth to say something funny, it has a 50% chance of actually being funny. I keep coming out with crap and nonsense and idiotic observations, I say inappropriate things that offend people and give them the entirely wrong impression... really, it must be what it's like to be a normal person...

See? There I go again. To hell with it. I'm giving up. I'm taking a vow of silence.