I'm A Creep, I'm A Weirdo

Woo hoo. Happy dance. Punch the air. I rock. I totally rule. Fuck it - indulge in an exclamation mark! Have two!! I mean after all, it's Monday... And I'm not hungover!!

Hmm, that's a little sad really. Still, it's more or less how I usually feel when I feel clear headed and purged of toxins on a Monday. Not exactly like that; I'm not really the kind of person who does happy dances and punches the air - and exclamation marks? Don't get me started. Still, I was out all weekend, didn't sleep on Saturday night, spent the early morning hours of Sunday slobbing on the couch with The One Who Tolerates me, smoking, massaging feet and talking absolute nonsense, then spent the afternoon at the pub eating hearty food and drinking a sumptuous red (and talking absolute nonsense). Not a healthy way to spend one's time, but then there's not a lot to complain about in all that either. AND I feel splendid (re-read opening para).

John Digweeed at Home nighclub was a fun night. Funny how DJs like that bring all types out. He's largely known as a progressive house DJ, but we bumped into people from the psytrance scene and the regular trance scene as well as all the housey types. The dance floor was packed the entire night - right through until about 7am, which is a pretty impressive achievement.

One of the people I bumped into towards the end of the night was a completely random clubber who gave me a massage about... hell, it must be four or five years ago. She was giving a friend a massage and there were three other guys waiting in line for their turn. They were all obviously friends. I started acting like a goose and miming that I really really really needed a massage and that my neck was really really really sore and please please please do me next. She giggled a lot, and when she finished the guy she was doing she waved me over. One of the other guys actually left and the others looked at me like I was shit. I guess their necks were really really really sore too.

It was an excellent massage. Real goosebump stuff. We talked a bit and I told her I hadn't really expected her to massage me, and she said, "It's cool. You were making me laugh. I like that." We talked some more, told each other our names, then went our separate ways, absorbed by the anonymity of the night.

Around two years after that I was at a big party called Two Tribes. Dancing, laughing, carrying on, I glanced around just to check what was going on around me, and I saw the same girl in the crowd. She was dancing by herself and I thought what the hell, I'll go and say hello.

"Hello. It's Tanya, isn't it?" I said, smiling.

She stopped dancing. "Yes," she replied, not smiling.

"You probably don't remember - we were at Gas Nightclub a while ago now. You gave me a mass-"

"Yes," she said, looking slightly concerned. "I remember when we met. I'm just... I just can't believe that you remembered my name."

I suddenly felt like a stalker... no not a stalker; what self-respecting stalker waits two years before approaching his victim? But I felt odd. Like it was somehow perverted to have remembered her name. I wished I hadn't said hello to her - why is being friendly so complicated?

"It's all right," I said, preparing to back away. "I just try to remember people's names. I'm not actually very good at it, so I make an effort. Especially when it's people that I like... I'm here with my girlfriend and some friends. I have friends, just like a normal person. I'm going back over to my girlfriend and my friends now. I saw you and just thought I'd say hello. Erm, have a good night."

Twice later that night I saw her looking at me. I felt strange. I hoped we'd never bump into each other again because she was obviously always going to think of me as the weird guy who makes notes and creeps people out by remembering their names.

We bumped into each other a couple of times after that, and somewhere along the line she started being really happy to see me. Now we email from time to time but see each other only when we run into each other. Like Saturday night. It was just a quick chat, but there was a huge hug and smiles and she said my name and it was just very cool. Just a catching up, how have you been chat before another hug and being absorbed by the anonymity of the night. But it left me smiling and thinking about how we met.

The randomness of life, the sudden turns it can take can lead to unexpected tragedy. But it can also lead big friendships as well as small ones that just... sparkle.