Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Please Explain: AC/DC Wine






Grumpy


Grumpy is freelance wine-maker Lee Bemrose (leebemrose@hotmail.com). Grumpy's Grenache is a mighty fine drop.


In the local bottle shop the other day I was a bit bemused to see the newly released AC/DC range of fine wines. It's... I mean, I like AC/DC and I like wine, but they just don't have anything to do with each other. Seeing images of Angus Young in Dan Murphy's was as bizarre seeing Kim Kardashian at a Mensa meeting. Or the Murdochs at the International Meeting of People With Integrity. Or Adam Sandler in a funny movie.


“What's going on here, Brain?” I asked my brain.


“I don't know, Grumpy. It's just not computing. It's as bizarre as seeing Kim Kardashian at a Mensa meeting. Or the Murdochs at the International Meeting -”


“Hey – that's what I was just thinking.”


“Great minds...”


Nobody was going near the AC/DC point of sale area. I guess everyone was having bemused conversations with their bemused brains. But I guessed a lot of shoppers, like me, were taking surreptitious sideways glances at this oddity of merchandising. Think Oz rock, you think black T-shirts, tatts, muscle cars and shouting. Think Oz rock and booze and you think beer or Jack.


And yet there it was – Hells Bells Sauvignon Blanc.


“Brain...?”


“I know. I saw it too.”


There's also Back In Black Shiraz, You Shook Me All Night Long Moscato and getting away from the Back In Black album, even a Bon Scott reference in the Highway To Hell Cabernet Sauvignon.


“Erm – Brain?”


“Yes Grumpy? I probably know what you're going to say, but go ahead.”


“Didn't the original singer of AC/DC die from an alcohol induced incident?”


“He most certainly did.”


“So as well as pretty damned weird, it's not really in the best taste, is it.”


No. I agree. It's a bit like... a bit like...”


“Releasing a Jeff Buckley range of swimwear?”


“Exactly what I was thinking.”


But it's not really the bad taste aspect that has stayed with me (others have suggested a Marc Bolan model Mini-Cooper to celebrate the vehicle in which he died, or a Mama Cass chain of sandwich shops), it's just the weirdness of the whole thing. Who, exactly, is going to buy this stuff? Certainly not cardigan-clad and knowledgeable wine buffs. Certainly not me or my bon vivant brain. Are AC/DC fans really going to buy it?


And rather than go down the bad taste road of releasing a celebration of the thing that killed a loved rock star, I'm a far more practical thinker. “Isn't that right, Brain.”


“You said it, big feller.”


What I'm wondering is, what do I eat with my Hells Bells Sauvignon Blanc?


“I'm thinking,” Brain tells me, “a well-ripened cheese. Maybe the Led Zeppelin Black Dog brie.”


“Sensational. Accompanied by a Black Sabbath Paranoid quince paste.”


“Exquisite.”


The Grumpy-Brain Advertising Corp next plans to release the Pauline Hanson range of Please Explain lingerie.


7 comments:

Chris Boyd said...

Stranger than comedy... The Harold Holt Swim Centre

P.S. The ham sandwich was a patty. Pastie. Er, I mean patsy.

Lee said...

I know the ham sandwich didn't do it, but the myth is so popular.

And the Harold Holt Swim Centre... awesome. Now I'm going to google Jeff Buckley Swimwear.

Chris Boyd said...

Hey, if you get a chance, the Mamas and Papas musical at Theatre Works is a blast. Seriously.

Lee said...

Weirdly enough I was just reading about Flowerchildren on Australian Stage. Even funnier is that the reviewer of the is Heather Bloom. Thanks for the tip. Will look into it.

FYI, there doesn't appear to be a Jeff Buckley range of swimwear.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Modern-day oxymorons?

Pure Gin! said...

I loled a few times there...

Also - "loled"? "lold"? "lol'd"?

Lee said...

Oxymorons? Loled or lold? Stop it - you are confusing me. And my brain.