Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Moopert Murdoch

The man on the telly just said Moopert Murdoch instead of Rupert Murdoch. Newsreader guy. Just like that. "Blah blah blah Moopert Murdoch blah blah." Just carried on as though nothing untoward had just taken place. As though no one had heard. Well, I heard, and I think it was bloody funny. Moopert. "Moopert Murdoch makes moospapers." I think Moopert Murdoch is even funnier than if the newsreader guy had an authentic speech impediment and called him Woopert Murdoch... then again, Woopert's pretty damn funny too.

Of course, I could have imagined the whole thing. I was feeling a little woozy. The weather here has gone from gloriously clear and warm to middle-of-winter miserable in the space of a couple of days, all the rain and wind has stirred up spring time (could be summer - never was good with seasons) pollen and general sneezy stuff and I have had louzy hayfever all day. I took one 24 hour antihistamine and five "fast acting" 60mg psuedoephedrine pills. Maximum of four to be taken in 24hours, but I factored in the safety buffer that I'm sure must exist. I reckon they factor in a buffer of twice as many. But anyway, I was feeling very strange there for a while. Just after The Moopert Murdoch Incident I started drifting into a very strange head place, my heart pounding at my chest. Every now and then my existence would implode and I would wake up with a jump.

It was quite a pleasant state to be in, aside from the slight cramping in my stomach. And the fact that (and I realise this is risky because only a couple of posts ago I was using penis size as a source of humour, but the Dear God post was a lighthearted but heartfelt apology to a friend and quite obviously whimsical, whereas this is a genuine physical side effect) my penis has shrunk. This happens every time I dope myself up on anti-sneeze medication, so you would think it would stop coming as such a shock. But noooo. I wander into the bathroom, fish about for a bit before frowning in panic and thinking, "What the hell has happened to my dick?" Gets me every time.

I am supposed to be writing something for the magzine... a half page bit of nonsense and a CD review, but right now I seem incapable of anything more sophisticated than Moopert Murdoch and pseudoephedrine-induced penile shrinkage.

I'm sure he said Moopert Murdoch.

I hope it grows back.

3 comments:

mamalujo1 said...

Hello Quick whoever-you-really-are:
Your comment on Mimi's most recent post "Rage" really got my attention. Your observations about that blog are exactly mine. And I agreed with your critical assessment of that particular post. Had to come over and look at your blog after that. Haven't had a chance to read much yet, but it's been interesting so far. Never been to Australia but I have a friend there I made while bumming around Ireland. She lives up in Darwin territory.
Look forward to reading more of you.

Quick said...

Thanks Tom... oh - I suppose I should be posting a reply on your site. I will get there properly soon. But in case you are back here before that... yeah, I like Mimi's blog, but sometimes it gets a little self-conscious. In my opinion.

I'm not trying to do anything with this blog except try to make a couple of humorous observations when I can. I really like the tiny funny things that happen each day. They're everywhere, all the time, you've just got to keep an eye out for them.

Never been to Darwin. One day...

messyness said...

Lol!! I heard a newsreader say Hyperdeemic Nurdle once and i still giggle about it now.