Friday, February 22, 2008

International Dickhead Day

Apparently February 22 is International Dickhead Day.

I have a 6.30am start at The Big Pointy Building. A breakfast to build as part of my Faux Chefing duties. I am not very happy about this. About the 6.30am bit. I ask the guy at the loading dock if our bread delivery has arrived. He tells me no. I ask if he is sure, because the bakery has promised our delivery would be there at 6am because it's kind of tight with the breakfast being due at 7.30. He insists no, your delivery has not arrived.

A short time later The Dreaded One (who has been doing battle in the car park with dickheads) comes in with our delivery. She says it had been there all the time. This makes me cranky because I asked. I totally asked the guy.

Later in the morning I go back out to the loading dock and I now don't trust anyone there for having a braincell to share between them. I check out the bread deliveries and see the invoices and when the same guy comes over he tells me there is only one crate of bread to pick up.

"And the bagels," I say.

"No," he tells me. "There are no bagels."

"There are bagels," I retort.


"Umm... yes there are."


"In the crate with our invoice on it for bagels... you know what?" I add, hearing a snap. I had not intended mentioning the earlier incident, but this thing inside me snaps. "You know earlier when I asked if our bread delivery had arrived?"


"And you said no?"


"You could have told me our croissants were here. I was waiting for the croissants."

"Ah. Oh. Well yes you see when we say bread here we mean bread, and when - "

"Are you for real? Next time if I come here and ask if our bread is here and a delivery that is not bread but has come from a bakery is here, can you please bring that up in the conversation?"

Dickhead skulks off like I've done something wrong.

The day was long. It was not a good day to have a short fuse with dickheads. They were everywhere.

Funniest thing was that Head Chef had been arriving just as I was explaining things to the loading dock guy about bakery products and efficiency and dickheadery, and he saw me glaring at the guy and karate chopping the air with enthusiasm. He was quite amused that quiet ol' me was ripping into a dickhead.

Nevertheless... dickheads were everywhere. All day long. Celebrating International Dickhead Day with unrelenting dickheadery. Dickheads.

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