Friday, September 25, 2009

Elevator Blues

Place I'm working at at the moment has this talking elevator. Female voice with a really snooty attitude. All I hear her saying as the doors close is "Going up!" She says it just like that too. Little stab of an exclamation mark at the end.

But what it sounds like is her telling the occupants of the lift in that superior tone to "Growup!" Like she's talking to a bunch of petulant kids.

What I really don't like about this superior elevator bitch though is that we're on the ground floor. She wins the prize for stating the fucking obvious. The elevator can't go down. And it's not likely to go sideways or backwards, is it. And if it doesn't go up it's not an elevator at all, it's just a room.

Got half a mind to go into the elevator and give the bitch a goood talking to.

4 comments:

isabelle said...

hahaha, there's something surreal and satisfying with arguing/ talking to a pre recorded voice attatched to a non human object.
I like shouting at my dad's sat nav, she's a real bitch if ever there was one.

Guyana-Gyal said...

You might want to take some hand-written signs and show 'em to her. Just in case she refuses to listen to you.

Pure Gin! said...

who does that bitch think she is...

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