Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lady In Red Panties

Just then at the local supermarket, the woman in front of me walks briskly through the turnstile. I catch a flash of bright red and notice that there's a bit of a clash going on with her skirt and her shoulder bag. Bag's hitched the skirt up hight so that she's flashing her red panties for everyone in the supermarket to see.

I'm about to catch up and say someting to her but she's really on a mission. She's heading straight for whatever it is she needs. Moisturiser or frozen pizza or whatever. She's too quick and suddenly I've missed my moment.

And then I think fuck it. Not my problem, because I've been burned by this exact kind of thing before.

I was waiting for The Dreaded One while she tried stuff on in a changeroom. A woman walked out, back in her own gear after trying other outfits on. She walked across the room and I couldn't help noticing that her skirt was tucked very neatly into her panties. They were very nice panties and it was a very nice arse, but I was pretty sure she wasn't intending to display the whole package quite so proudly.

"Excuse me," I said, "but I think you have a bit of unintentional backdoor action going on there."

"What?"

In hindsight, not the best choice of wordage, especially as she didn't know I was waiting for a partner to emerge from the changeroom.

"Your thing is tucked into your wotsits. Thought you should know." Accompanied with a bit of a whistle, finger point and glance in the opposite direction like I hadn't seen a thing.

She did that thing where you try to look at your own arse, realised what was going on and rectified the wardobe malfunction. Then shot ME the most evil look you could wither under before storming off in a huff. Death beam eyes like I had tucked the hem of her skirt into her panties for my own amusement.

So, woman sprinting for the frozen pizza in Coles tonight, sorry I didn't tell you about your thing being tucked into your wotsits. Not my problem. Besides, if you happened to be that same woman all those years ago...

8 comments:

Pure Gin! said...

I totally get this. There needs to be a formal etiquette about these things. You should be allowed to tell people about stains on their arse or spinach in their teeth or peepee hanging out an open fly without them immediately blaming it all on you.

Pure Gin! said...

hahaha my word was "nutosky".

Lee said...

Exactly, Gin. What is that about? It's totally nutosky.

Y said...

Was it the whistle and the finger pointing that did it? I'd definitely want someone to tell me if I had chocolate on my face or toilet paper trailing behind me.

Lee said...

I was actually a little more snsible about it in real life. No, she was just embarrassed and lashed out at me with A look.

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Pure Gin! said...

...and now someone from St Kilda, Melbourne googled "unintentional panty flashing" and also checked out your blog...

Lee said...

Am laughing on my face and on facebook about this.