Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Confessions Of A Sweaty Perv

I'm in my shop for three days this week. I like being here, as I've said before. I'm getting better at being pleasant and smiley and chatty. By and large the people the store attracts are pretty good people. They like the clothes and they like the music. Party people.

Yesterday, though, I felt like a sweaty perv. Actually, that's a bit harsh. Not a sweaty perv, just a bit pervy. A frustrated perv? Maybe. But there was definitely a slight degree of some sort of perviness at play.

Girl and her friend walked in. Girl was wearing low slung hipsters and had a gorgeous stomach and a near perfect arse. We get lots of good-looking people in here so it was nothing out of the ordinary. I smiled and said hello and she had a really sweet smile too. I said if she needs any help to just let me know, then I left them to it.

I looked up a couple of times and noticed the collection of items she was putting together... she apparently had a fondness for tiny little lycra things. Teeny little shorts and miniscule, sheer tops, and I found myself thinking in a pervy voice, "My god she is going to look so hot in those... can't wait till she comes out to show her friend."

Then I thought my god - does that make me a perv? Am I, in fact, a sweaty perv? I don't want to be a sweaty perv. But surely that thought was the thought of a total degenerate.

In the end, do you think Lycra Girl came out of the changeroom at all? No way. Not once. Each time she tried on another piece of tiny lycra she called her friend over to the changeroom, and the fact that I was disappointed by this just reinforced this whole pervy thing. Especially when I whimprered in a sweaty pervy voice, "But don't you want a guy's opinion?" (Okay, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it, and in my pervy state of mind it seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to think).

She bought loads of stuff and as she handed it all to me I totally didn't have the urge to bury my face in them, breathe in her warm body scent and go phwoar, so I figured I wasn't such a sweaty perv afterall.

I told The Dreaded One about it and asked if it made me a perv, and she said, "You're a guy. Of course you're a dirty filthy sweaty perv. Complete and utter degenerate. Like, duh."

24 comments:

Amra Pajalic said...

Yep, The Dreaded One is right on. You filthy perv.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Ohhh you...you...perv, the Dreaded One sure is right :-D

I sometimes wonder if it's possible to train men not to be pervs. Hm. Just wondering.

craig said...

I agree. You probably should get help, you sick puppy :)

Margarita Milongita said...

Hey I know your shop! I've passed it many times when I'm in Sydney.. wow! My friends live in Erskinville and I always stay there.. I LOVE King St.. however,not a fan of the rave scene. I hope this won't taint your view of me...

Quick said...

How funny.

Next time you're in Sydney, don't pass by, drop in and say hello.

I'm not so into the rave scene either, although I don't have a real problem with it. I won't say I'll never go to another rave, but it's not very likely.

Doofing, however, partying in barefeet in the sunshine in the bush is nothing short of sublime. I doubt that I'll ever grow out of that.

View not tainted.

Margarita Milongita said...

Hey even I have been to Earthcore on 2 occassions and loved it (until the drugs wore off).
My friend,Cathryn was into the acid house scene when I met her - took me a while for her to get me to a rave but it was interesting in an anthopological kind of way. All those whistles,lasers and people asking 'oi got any louie?' was an education.
I will,however,never understand the fluffy leg warmer thing. I am way too stylish for that... (says she who is currently covered in flour from a ravioli making session!).
Next time I'm in Siddanee I'll stop in and shout "Quick- I need 2 blue fish!"...
PS Can you nick down to Retro Speed and buy me a new frock?

Quick said...

Also been to two Earthcores, have found better parties now. Exodus in Tenterfield was amazing. Planning to do that in January and then go to Rainbow Serpent for the first time.

But on the 17th of Sept is Earthdance, just down the road and all around the world. Can't wait. Doof in the city. Electro stage and drum 'n bas stage, but I'll be on the hill in Sydney Park, stomping my arse off.

A new frock eh. Guessing red's your colour?

Margarita Milongita said...

How perceptive my Tony Manera of the drum n bass scene.. red it is!
I also meant to tell you that I like sweaty pervs.. as long as they are well read and have good taste in film and music.

Quick said...

Hmm. Hole in knowledge - don't know of Tony Manera. Could have googled him and pretended to be more well read than I am, but meh. Will google him later to find out if that was a compliment or a not compliment.

Also, what I mean't was, there will be a drum n bass stage because Earthdance is about inclusion and acceptance, peace & harmony (hah! Drum n bass! Peace and harmony! Hah!), but I won't be stepping foot anywhere near the drum n bass stage... oh I might check it out, but it really is one of my least favourite styles of music.

The psytrance guys usually get the higher hill at this gig and once the sound gets its hooks into us, it's hard to leave that area.

Also, I read well, have what I think is excellent taste in film, music and theatre (but who thinks their own taste is shit?), but I'm really not a sweaty perv. Really. No, actually really.

Margarita Milongita said...

I actually meant to write Tony Manero. That was John Ravolta's character in Saturday Night Fever.
I'm sure Google would have steered you in the right direction.. and yes, it is a compliment of sorts.
Anyway, dubbing you 'drum and bass' shows my knowledge of techno or psytrance or whatever moniker it lives under these days, is shithouse. Your talk of peace and harmony gives me the impression that you are a sweet lil hippy... awww, bless.

Quick said...

Ah. Gotcha. That is funny. I'm going to use a bendy version that some time. There are a couple of people at doofs who dance in the most wildly chaotic yet strangely graceful way. Going to point them out and observe, "You know - he's kind of like the Tony Manero of doof."

They probably won't get it, but it will be fucking funny regardless.

Hmm. Not hippy. Like most people I'm too consumerist to to be hippy, and I certainly don't dress or look hippy. Maybe I do have a couple of hippy tendencies though. Being nice to people n shit. And I don't actually believe in karma, but I try to live as though it might be a thing, if that makes sense. Which is why assholes make me so angry... ooh, I feel a rant coming on...

Margarita Milongita said...

What a relief that you aren't a hippy.. they smell a lot. Earth is a state of mind and personal hygene is good karma, man.

Maybe when you update your profile, you can simplify if by writing 'The Tony Manero of Doof'..

Help me, oh quick one.. I am suffering today... I'm sinking in a quicksand of a hangover and apathy....

Quick said...

Me a hippy is funny. Earthcore a couple of years ago I was dancing at the edge of the dancefloor to Raja Ram. They had hosed the dancefloor down and it was really muddy in the middle, and I kind of went fuck it, why not. Kicked off my shoes and went nuts with the muddy people. I walked around for the rest of the day so proud of myself for allowing real mud to come into contact with my person.

I added the Tony Manero line to my profile but it's not showing up yet.

Margarita Milongita said...

Hey His Mudness,
I saw your profile- I am impressed. If only I had that much influence in all things..
Enjoy your weekend.. goth fest hey?
Newtown to be invaded by The Sisters Of Mercy..

Quick said...

Apparently there were lots of goths in the shop today, as well as Transmission ravers. I quite like goths. Some of them anyway.

Margarita Milongita said...

Believe it or not, I used to be part of that scene about 17 years ago.. I thought it was all different until I realised they were as close minded and snobby as the yuppies in which they disparaged. I still remember the last time I went out in the goth regalia. As I was spraying my hair up with laquer I looked at myself in the mirror and said "I'm so sick of this!" Within a week, I cut my hair,bought jeans,Converse sneakers and a hoodie and fell in love with the whole Madchester thing. The Black Brigade ignored me and I couldn't care less. Life on the groovy train was far better!

Quick said...

I guess there are pricks in every scene. You'd think the psytrance scene would be all hugs and rainbows, but I've encountered some big time arseholes there. Really big league fuckwits.

Luckily I've also met some pretty awesome people too.

I think what I like about goths is the way they express themselves. I like that they go to so much trouble about their appearance. The few that I know are good people.

Margarita Milongita said...

I can honestly say the only person I still know from those days turned her back on the whole scene as well. If you ever do a story on tattooists, you should talk to her. She's very in demand here in Melbourne. I still live my life in black though.. some things will never change! But I agree, wankers and lovelies in every walk of life. However, the swing (as in Lindy Hop) scene is populated by conservative geeks. Me no likey!
As my friend's dad once said 'never trust anyone that doesn't drink!"

Quick said...

I'll drink to that.

Funny you should mention tattoos. Have you seen my tattoo story in the current issue of Men's Health?

Margarita Milongita said...

I've read some of it- still need to finish the article- that's why I said tattooists rather than tattoos..
I think you should choose a design and get it done.. go on- run with it!!
Perhaps a pic of the classic Saturday Night Fever pose of Tony Manero except he's wearing doof wear?
Wish I could draw you a mock up!

Quick said...

A fire twirling Tony Manero... hmm. "Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' aliiight..."

Margarita Milongita said...

Or 'You should be doofin' YEAH!!!

Quick said...

Hee hee. "Well you can tell by the way I use my poi, I'm a doofin'man..."

Margarita Milongita said...

More than a doofman... more than a doofman to meeeeee!