Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Art Rage

Many details I forgot to mention in the quick rant below. One was the 'art' in the pub in Bangalow. Small room full of locals and travellers. Three walls were occupied by large paintings by a local 'artist', and I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but I also know that that little axiom is complete rubbish. Sometimes somethinig is just so bad that you can do the lip service bit with the eye of the beholder thing, but the reality is that crap, sometimes, is just crap.

The guy calls himself 'an instinctive abstract impressionist', or something like that. Can't really remember because as I said, I was in a weird state when in the restaurant and I read the notes just before leaving. But that's more or less part of the description.

As for a description of the paintings... big, clumsy chunks of colour that were all just wrong. I know, abstract impressionism done by instinct, maybe it's not wrong, just unusual or unexpected yada yada. No, I'm telling you categorically that it was pooh. Purple and yellow and mauve, but pooh nontheless.

One was mean't to be of Mount Warning, an odd looking volcanic structure with a bent tip just outside Byron Bay. It's a pretty distinctive landmark, and he got the shape of it right, but really... it was just all wrong. It reminded me of vegetables. Broccoli and purple congo potatoes (is that what the purple potatoes are called?) and mashed sweet potato...

But the most fascinating thing about this abomination was the price tag. I really can't convey the amateurish quality of this thing enough, but he was asking $2,500 for it. For a long time I couldn't decide whether to be endeared by his optimism or enraged by his audacity. In the end I decided that I have never been so enraged by a painting in my life.

Gonna Google the bastard now and see if there's anything about him out there.

2 comments:

Guyana-Gyal said...

Don't get mad, get even. Paint one just as bad or worse, and ask lots for it too.

Quick said...

I might be able to paint one as bad, couldn't possibly paint one worse...