Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Shout, Shout, Let It All Out

That catering gig on NYE... it reminded me of when I was just out of school and I went to work on a building site. I threw myself into the work, thinking that I was strong and fit, and my god the work chewed me up and spat me out. I was hurting for weeks.

Same thing the other night. It was only 20 hours over two days, but it was a lot more physical than poking a keyboard. Damn solid workout that I am still in pain from.

Funniest thing was the shouting. Things started heating up as the guests arrived, and when it started getting a little tight holy fuck the tempers flared. Head waiter shouted at head chef who, as expected, shouted right back. Someone asked a stupid question at the wrong time and got shouted at. When there was no shouting going on, one of the shouters just had a random shout... seriously, when the chef and the (dick) head waiter were going at each other I thought I was going to lose it and start giggling like a schoolgirl. Have you ever watched someone really give a shout everything they've got? Have you seen the funny colour their face goes? They pull the stupidest face and their veins start looking like a relief map of some complex river system, and if you're really lucky they say some really silly shit in a really serious way... and if you get two of them going head to head it's an absolute scream.

I bit my tongue though and managed not to giggle. But it really was insanely funny - especially when The Dreaded One had told me that it's as regular as clock work. I could imagine them checking off their timetable and then, seeing that it was 8.45, saying, "Oh. Shouty time. Best get on with it then... "OI! KNOBFACE! WHADDAYA CALL THIS SLOP? AND IT'S TWO AND A HALF MINUTES LATE!"

"DON'T YOU TRY TO TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB!"

"WHY THE HELL NOT? I TRY TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB AT THIS TIME EVERY NIGHT! HAVEN'T YOU REALISED THAT YET, YOU COMPLETE MORON!"

"DON'T YOU CALL ME A MORON... WHAT'S THAT SOUND?"

"WHAT SOUND?"

"THAT SNORTY SOUND, LIKE SOMEONE TRYING NOT TO GIGGLE LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL!"

Funny humans.

1 comment:

Guyana-Gyal said...

Giggle?

I'd bust out laughing. Like a market vendor, loud and vulgahhh.