Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Can You Speak Chinese?

I generally don't answer my landline. It's usually annoying marketing people. Real people usually call me on my mobile, so I let the answering machine take all my calls when I'm at home.

But today I'd just finished doing an interview with actor, writer and director Serhat Caradee, and 30 seconds after we'd hung up the phone started ringing. I thought maybe it was Serhat and he wanted to clarify something in the interview, so I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello," came a Chinese accent.

"Yes hello," I replied after a longish pause, thinking this was the lousiest opener to any sales pitch I'd ever heard.

"Can you speak Chinese?"

"No," I told her. "No Chinese. Sorry."

"Ah," she replied as though this was a bit of a problem. "Do you know who can speak Chinese?"

"Chinese people?"

"Is there someone there who can speak Chinese?"

I look around at my empty apartment. "No," I say.

"Ah. Okay. Thank you."

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

"Bye bye."

"Goodbye."

Maybe I should pick up the phone more often. It was pretty funny.

8 comments:

Dina said...

That made me laugh.

I know one or two words in Chinese!!! I guess that doesn't count. Right?

Kathryn said...

It's pretty classic funny when that stuff happens. And you're looking around for someone to share it with. Even the fish would do.

P.S. I know the dirty words in Chinese. Don't mess with me, bapo.

Y said...

Bapo.. hahaha I love Kathryn's comment. What a surreal phone conversation by the way. I don't answer the phone anymore. It's never anyone I want to talk to!

Lee said...

Okay, what in the hell is bapo? You pair of bapos.

Kathryn said...

Ooh, calling us a pair of bitches are you? Don't make me break out the "Le ho yum dun".

Last bit means: You are so slutty. ;)

Guyana-Gyal said...

Oh yes, you should definitely answer the phone more often, you can play with the sales people too, speak with accent and say, I arm nort urnderstarding you.

isabelle said...

ha!how weird.... that reads like the beginning of a Haruki Murakami story .

Lee said...

It was as unexpected as something Murakami would write.