Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Such A Cock Up

We're doing a function at The Big pointy Building. It's a VIP deal and as such the food is excellent. Excellent quality, excellent presentation, general excellence is flying about all over the place. We've been taught by the best in the biz and sometimes our team pulls it together quite impressively.

Function starts. Guests arrive. Waiters start heading out into the crowd with platters of our very excellent food. It's been stressful getting to this point but from now on it should be fine. It's just pumping the food out from here on.

A waitress comes back from her tour of the room and announces to this room full of focused chefs that "Celebrity Chef is here and he's such a cock!"

She is agency staff and doesn't really know us very well. She doesn't know who is who very well because standing right - right - next to her is our head chef who has worked very closely for Celebrity Chef for many years and is in fact a good mate of Celebrity Chef. Celebrity Chef is, in fact, one of the owners of the company we work for. He employs this entire room full of chefs. He is indirectly paying this waitress' wages tonight.

The waitress is the only person in the room at this moment who does not know these facts. She has no idea she has just said the most inappropriate thing she could say to this particular room full of chefs. The following moments are moments I feel she will always remember in slow motion. In the following moments, she is on the same page.

You should have heard the laughter. I have never seen this particular team of chefs sharing such laughter. It was spectacular.

At first the waitress didn't believe that Celebrity Chef was our boss, but as she looked around at the spontaneous hilarity, you could see the colour drain from her face. Well you could have if she hadn't been covering her face with her hands while chanting "Oh God I'm so sorry" repeatedly.

And although she was so embarrassed that she left soon after, and although she wasn't sharing our laughter at just how clumsy she was, she will be laughing one day. I thought I'd fau pased in my pants a few times in my life, but this was fucking brilliant.

I like to think the waitress might also have learned the meaning of discretion. Meaning being, don't announce to a room full of strangers that someone is a cock until you're reasonably sure of their thoughts on the matter.

3 comments:

Guyana-Gyal said...

What I think was great is how everybody LAUGHED.

Y said...

Hey Lee! I thought I already commented on this, but it looks like it disappeared or something. Anyway, what a funny story! I can't believe she thought it would be a good idea to say that to a roomful of chefs. Even if he wasn't an owner, he could well have had a friend or two in that room!

Lee said...

Everyone laughed, GG, except the waitress who put her foot in her mouth. I still reckon she will laugh about it. It was hilarious.

Hey Yu-Ching. I rarely delete comments so I don't know what happened there. It was a very funny moment, perfect choice of words at the exact wrong moment. Beautiful.

She left in tears, was told by Head Chef via the agency that she is welcome back, she just needs to have learned something from that night. And she was back tonight. All was fine.