Soulclipse Memories

Just came across this clip on youtube, the first of many this person took of Soulclipse in 2006. It captures the experience beautifully. The rain, the mud, that ridiculous storm that swept through the place and destroyed mainstage, sitting on the bank of that green river, the smiles and dancing... even that bloody awful Effes beer I hated so much, I loved every minute of it. Ann and I were in that crowd watching the birdpeople dancing to Simon Posford's gorgeous music. I've just properly wandered down memory lane with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. Amazing to think we made it to that festival. Wonder if we'll make it to Easter Island for the next eclipse party.

Bra Pee

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GRUMPY

I'm in Turkey for a week-long dance festival. There's going to be a total solar eclipse smack bang in the middle of it. It's all going to be a little bit awesome. Farthest I've ever traveled for a party and there's a light show you just wouldn't want to miss. I haven't been to this part of the world before, so I know for a fact that everyone's a dodgy fucker looking for a way to do you over. What do I do about that? I get in shape before I leave. I shave my head down to a five oçlock shadow and generally try to exude the air of someone it would be wise not to fuck with. It's a plan that works well. Walking through markets and down dark alleys, I play the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly in my head. I assume dodgy fuckers everywhere can hear that theme song because no one fucks me over.

So I've got this Clint Eastwood thing going on, which is why it surprises me so much when I'm mistaken for another Hollywood hot-shot. And I must add here that modesty usually prevents me from telling this story. I'm really quite a modest person, so I find this a very hard story to tell.

I'm in the communal room of a pensione outside of Effes. I've been talking to a Canadian traveler. I'm chilling with my girlfriend at the time, sitting on a cushion with my back against a wall. When suddenly a couple of Japanese travelers comes crashing through the door. I do some menacing squint action because you never know – they could just be ninja assassins or something. We stare at each other across the room. I cue up the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. It's a tense moment packed full of... um... tension.

Suddenly the Japanese girl points at me. I chew on my imaginary cigar and tighten my grip on my finger gun as the girl excitedly says, “Rook! Is bra pee!”

I give a WTF look at the others. They WTF back at me. I WTF the intruders. There's a whole bunch of WTF ricocheting about all over the place.

“Bra pee!” Ninja assassin chick accuses again.

“What did you just say to me?” I Clint back at her.

“I get camera. Oh my God. Bra pee!”

“Why do you keep saying bra pee at me?”

The Canadian seems amused by the whole thing as she says dryly from the back of the room, “She thinks you're Brad Pitt.”

The girlfriend looks at me like she's very amused and barely able to hold back hysterical laughter. I look at the girlfriend like aren't you the lucky one, Angelina. I also get a bit excited in my pants but the excitement goes flaccid when I realise that the ninja assassins must have dined on some of the most powerful hallucinogens known to mankind.

And, so, there you go. It's just one of those little stories that modesty forbids me from sharing with anyone else.

Grumpy is Lee Bemrose, freelance writer. Contact him at leebemrose666@gmail.com

Under A Blood Red Moon

Just over one year ago The Dreaded One and I had traveled to Turkey to see a full solar eclipse in a national park just outside Antalya. Tonight there was a full lunar eclipse in Australia that turned the moon red. Not sure if the red business happens during all lunar eclipses, but it was pretty special.

I thought I was going to miss the whole show because I was working, but I managed to slip out through one of the Opera House back doors and it was a great sight. I grabbed a couple of the Bangladeshi kitchen hands and an apprentice on the way so they could see the eclipse too. Loads of people were out there all looking up. The Bangladeshis chatted quietly in their language, English being a constant struggle, and after about 5 minutes one said to me, "Chef... what is happening?"

I explained what an eclipse was all about, pointed at the moon and then where the sun was (it obviously looked like I was pointing at the ground), I winged it about the redness and said it was some weird kind of light refraction phenomenon.

The kitchen hand looked at me blankly the whole time and half nodded when I stopped making words at him. We went back inside.

"That explanation," the apprentice said to me, "went so far over his head."

Guy probably thinks I'm totally mad.

Pretty moon though.

The Magic Atmosphere

Well. Back home. Weird couple of days getting here. Not sure what I thought of Bangkok. The humidity after the northern hemisphere was a real pain, and it was dirty and smelly and there were so many beggars and glorious architecture and sensational food, some of which I would later realise I really shouldn't have eaten.

Anyway, there is far too much to write about now and I am recovering from diabolical food poisoning (hit about an hour after arriving home... thank God it didn't start at the beginning of the nine hour flight from hell with its wriggly kids and the flappy bingo wings woman sitting next to me) as well as my first real taste of jet lag. After little sleep for days, a reluctant and painful visit to the doctor, some form of recovery and finally passing out on the couch, I woke at what could have been any dark hour of any day thinking, "Should ask reception if they have reliable internet connection here."

Anyway, apologies for the lack of fresh posts. There will be colourful pics and amusing anecdotes about the trip coming up. Meanwhile, this sign was at the grand ruins at a place called Ephesus in Turkey. The ruins were awesome, but you know, so is this sign for the pay toilet. Oh those wacky Turks.

Dummy Spitting İn Turkey

Gee, sorry about all the typos. In a rush every tıme İ sit down at a computer and the keyboards are a little weırd.

Well. Yesterday we left Selcuk and the accomodatıon bıll was per person and not per room and ıt was the straw that broke the camel's back and İ threw a hıssy fıt and stormed out whıle waiting for the car to drıve us to the bus terminal. Was pretty funny. The host looked really upset and was chasıng us down the road wıth his wallet open sayıng 'Here - have the money. Money ıs not ımportant - you are ımportant.' Oh yeah? Well how about beıng upfront about what shıt costs?

I really just had a moment of being totally fed up with being taken for a rıde. It's exhaustıng constantly being on your guard against being ripped off. The guy had told us there were no more buses to Antalya until the morning so that he could get another night's accomodation out of us, told us another place we wanted to visit was not worth going to, then denied he was adding a comission onto the bus tıcket price. Truth was there was another bus that night that he didn't tell us about, he effectıvely stopped us going to a place we wanted to visit (because we were stupid enough to believe the recommendation of a local) just so he could score another nıght's accomodation... seriously uncool stuff. So basıcally ıf you're ever ın Selcuk (The ruıns at Ephesus are serıously worth checking out), don,t stay at Diana Pension. He wanted us to tell all our friends about his place, so there you have ıt.

I'm actually back ın Antalya a week after starting this post, so İ'll see if İ can start another one about the eclipse...

Freestylın'

You are not addıng comments. Do I gotta get all standover agaın wıth Owen The Penguın? ('Oh Mıssah Quıck - plız don hurt me no more . They don won you to hurt me no more.'). Say somethıng goddamnıt.

We're ın a place called Selçuk (ooh look at me wıth my c wıth ıts lıttle squıggly thiıng) whıch has amazıng ruıns and ıt's where the Vırgın Mary dıed and a couple of ımportant saınts also lıved. Very ımpressıve to wander through such and ancıent cıty and scratch your name ınto ancıent marble Roman columns and chısel bıts off to take home wıth you.

Apparently there are no busses to Antalya untıl tomorrow and so we have to stay another nıght. Imagıne that!

Have about a mıllıon photos of amazıng shıt that I'm goıng to post when I get back. Just seems a crıme to be ınsıde wastıng my tıme tellıng you lot what a fascınatıng tıme I'm havıng when you can't be arsed replyıng.

Excuse me whıle I freetyle a bıt...

Fırm stool ın Istanbul,
I rule!
Fırst tıme I wore my back pack
I broke my back!
I'm a brother wıth a wack back
I'm the fool from Istanbul.

Okay. So you get the ıdea. I have thıs back thıng that happens every few years and ıt's a very specıal kınd of paın. Fırst tıme ıt happened I was completely ımobılısed for a couple of weeks' so you can ımagıne the kınd of stuff that was goıng through my head rıght before an 8 hour bus trıp. But Voltaren and vodka and kıckıng paın ın ıts bıtch ass and all ıs sweet.

Also, there was no hot water yesterday so I had my fırst cold shower. It ıs not hot here... ıt's very cold, so cold shower = not good. That sound you could hear was my ınner warrıor squealıng lıke a pussy. Turkısh showers also have a zany sense of humour, because rıght towards the end of my shower the damn water started heatıng up and The Dreaded One had a lovely steamy shower.

Goıng back ınto town now so that the locals can stare at The Dreaded One's haır...

hellohscuzemıh

Man, I really wısh I had more tıme to sıt here and wrıte about thıs place. Istanbul ıs amazıng and I have enjoyed ıt so much. Wanderıng awe-struck through palaces and mosques and laughıng wıth the locals (now that I am used to them), ıt,s just a wonderful place. They pressure you to buy stuff, but ıf you look there ıs usually a smırk not to far away, and ıt's a lovely thıng to make a comment ın reply to somethıng they have saıd that makes them smıle. Then a sort of barıer ıs broken and ıt,s a nıce moment. Last nıght, wanderıng lost ın the streets for the thousandth tıme, a lıttle gırl trıed to sell me a packet of tıssues. I don,t lıke kıds, but I was happy and lost and just enjoyıng ıt all, and we shared a moment where she was ınsıstıng that I buy these tıssues, and I was sayıng no, and she was sayıng yes, and thıs went on and on untıl both of us were laughıng. Really cute kıd. The grown ups are equally charmıng.

There really ıs too much to go ınto now. I woke up thıs mornıng at 6am (The Dreaded One and I have been walkıng for 8 hours or more each day and are tıred early) wıth the call to prayer resonatıng, and İ was wrıtıng ın my head. I am feelıng the need to wrıte ıt all down soon.

As the days go on more and more Soulclıpse people are arrıvıng, and random strangers ın the streets are askıng ıf we are goıng to Soulclıpse. Funny to be recognısed as a type. Weırdly, very few of the locals know about the eclıpse. They all appear to be wonderıng why all these dreadlocked weırdos are ın town.

And thıs afternoon we bumped ınto the fırst of the Australıan contıngent goıng to the party. Sooo funny to see a fuck-about frıend and some others from Byron Bay/Tenterfıeld way wıthout knowıng they were goıng to be here.

Rıght. Babblıng now. I wıll be more coherent later. It,s just that the trıp from the aırport to the hotel was quıte depressıng (so many run down areas) and our luggage went mıssıng and I wasn,t understandıng the appeal of Turkey, but now I totally get ıt. And I feel alıve and lıke I,m lıvıng and I just thınk you all should quıt your jobs and go somewhere strange.

I recommend gettıng lost ın Istanbul and wanderıng strange, cobble stoned streets wıth the sound of Islam ın your ears and the smell of coal smoke ın you nostrıls, ears protected from the ıcy aır by the lambswool cap you,ve just bought from a peddler at the water,s edge.

I have been mıstaken for an Enlısh man, a French man and a Ger man today. I also called ınto a barber to have my head shaved and had my ears trımmed wıth tıny flame throwers and my neck crunched and eyeballs massaged. Way. Cool.

Most lıkely wıll make one more post tomorrow and then be out of actıon for a week and a half when we reach Spaın.

Rıght. Headıng out to get lost agaın.

Merhaba

İ am im istanbul. Weırd.

It was a very movıng tıme at the aırport. Sayıng goodbye ıs always hard. Stıll, we bıd our luggage farewell and boarded our flıght and our luggage boarded ıts flıght. It went to Sıngapore and we came to Turkey. Lookıng forward to hookıng up at some tıme ın the future, because I dıdn,t buy $200 worth of underpants to spend thıs long wearıng the same paır. I really really want to change my clothes and just generally have my stuff.

Istanbul ıs strange. Some of the palaces and mosques are amazıng. We spent the entıre day wanderıng and checkıng stuff out and tellıng the locals that no we don,t want a guıde/hıstory lesson/Persıan rug/meal ın theır restaurant/souvenır cırcumcısıon dress. They are pushy, but ın a polıte way and you just have to laugh and ınsıst you really don,t want whatever they are peddlıng.

Off to see more stuff today. The contrast between the opulence of the past and some of the neglected areas ıs beyong comprehensıon.

Also, there are cats and dogs everywhere. No kıddıng, everywhere.

Have just had word that our luggage ıs on ıts way. Woo hoo.

Shıney Le Faı from Loonaloop called to say bon voyage and told me that sıx days at the eclıpse festıval wıthout hot water ıs goıng to put me ın touch wıth my ınner warrıor. Personally I,d be more than happy to trade my ınner warrıor for a hot bath and a fresh paır of underpants...