Tuesday, February 14, 2006

"And The Winner Of The Twat Of The Year Award Goes Tooooo..."

Me: Huh? What's that?

Computer: It's an email message in your 'save as draft' folder.

Me: But it's to that arts magazine I was pestering about contributing to. I had them interested in a regular humorous column. I sent something else to them the other day to see if they were still interested. I can't remember where we were at with that.

Computer: The answer is probably in that email. Why don't you open it?

Me: (opening draft email) Doo dee doo de doo. Tum tee tumtumtum... Oh no...

Computer: Wassup? Bad news?

Me: Oh crap. Why am I so stupid? God I can't believe I did this.

Computer: Whatwhatwhat? Tell me tell me tell me. The suspense is killing me.

Me: Fucking twat. They gave me the green light. They gave me their rates. They asked what the first column was going to be about...

Computer: That's great news, dude. Congrats. You should look really happy - not like you've just dropped a load in your panties.

Me: The email is dated November 28. My reply is, "Thanks Caroline. That's great. I'll..."

Computer: Whoa. Dude. That's all? You didn't finish writing the email?

Me: No. That's it. That's all. I obviously got distracted with work that day, then I told my employers I was quitting, then I went on a road trip, and I totally forgot about it.

Computer: Total bummer, man. That's really got to suck arse. Hehehe... man, you should see the look on your face. Classic.

6 comments:

Guyana-Gyal said...

Oooh dee doo dee dooo :-D

Is it too late to do something about it? Call them and talk again? I hope so.

Quick said...

You hope so? You hope it's too late to talk to them? Oh. I thought you were a nicer person than that. Fine. Good. Wish bad stuff upon me.

gab said...

Haha, I just rediscovered the draft box recently. Nasty stuff. Did I really start an email with “dear fuckstick..”? That doesn’t sound like me at all ;) Makes me think I’ve got early onset Alzheimer’s. Great, like I need to feed my hypochondriah.

But big ups to you for the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen approach. You could go in with “darling, I’ve been incredibly busy with big works, I’m so sorry for not getting back to you sooner.” With a liberal sprinkling of arrogance, I’m sure they’ll be begging for your contributions.

Go get ‘em tiger.

Quick said...

You mean like... wait, just decided to post that as a thread rather than here. But thank you. That is funny. That's me: Treat 'Em Mean Keep 'Em Keen quick Tiger... erm... something.

Guyana-Gyal said...

No, no, aww, you know what I mean, Quick.

I mean "I hope NOT."

I'm struggling with a constipated server and writing fast before they...

...well...I'm struggling!

Quick said...

Ya GG, I was purposely misinterpretting :)