Saturday, February 18, 2006

Dumb Things To Swear At

A crack in the footpath: "Woopsfuck!"

A mosquito: "Cop that, fucker. Hahaha."

One of those flies that reeeeeally wants to hang out with your face: "Piiiiiss OFF!"

A cutting-in-front-of-you moron in another car when you have all the windows wound up and there's zero chance they're ever going to hear you: "OH THAT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT, YOU ARROGANT SACK OF SHIT. WHERE DID THAT GET YOU? YEAH, LOOK, OOOH - A WHOLE CAR SPACE AHEAD IN TIME. FUCKING FUCKWAD!"

That same fly: "Seriously - fuck off prick."

DJ Sasha when his 'Involver' CD skips and goes nangnangnangnangnangnang: "Gah! Arsehole!"

A dog that barks at you as you leave the shopping centre and makes your sphincter twitch: "Fucking dickhead!"

An elevator that's maybe 15 floors below and just doing what it's been told to do: "Come on come on! I haven't got all fucking day!"

Man who buzz door two week later and say, 'Is there a Luca?': "No fucking Luca!"

I think I need to chill out a bit.

3 comments:

Boy Wonder said...

Spincter Twitch - verb, informal - an involuntary bodily reaction resulting from unexpected and blinding annoyance bought on by external events, usually trivial.

Quick said...

Ah. A fellow ST sufferer...

Guyana-Gyal said...

You got to learn to do what West Indians do, man Quick. Suck teeth. It's a long, ruuuuuude sound. No words. Conveys the world of emotions.