Off The Rails

I was just asked to write a review of the last party I went to, Exodus Live. 330 word limit, have fun with it, kind of brief I like. Unfortunately I went a bit off the rails and had to stop because it's not going to be quite the review the mag will be expecting. Pity because I was on a bit of a roll, and it does actually capture something of the spirit of the thing. You can see the tone and style I was going for, but it's just a really good example of lack of discipline. Thought I may as well post it here because you might get a giggle out of it.

Right, back to a blank page for me...


Exodus Live Festival

With some unreliable background rumblings about the festival organisation changing hands, the big concern was whether this year’s Exodus was going to be as good as last year’s, which was the best Australian dance festival I had been to. Short answer? Yup, sure was. Slightly longer answer? Okay then... nasty hailstorm en-route, weather cleared to sunny with dribbly little showers, set up tent like the pro I am (ha), hit the dancefloor. Someone said something about the electro dome so I sauntered into what turned out to be the most twisted dance experience I’d ever... um, experienced. The music was crunchy and poppy and wonderfully fucked up... almost as fucked up as the lunatics I was dancing with. These guys were freaks. Later I asked my friends who had pointed the dome out to me what they thought. “Fucked if I was going in there,” was their reply, “it looked too scary.” Wandered past a packed children’s tent where a fully made up guy was telling a story to a crowd of enthralled children. Kids were lapping it up. Slept. Hit the dancefloor at 9am in time for Kolliope whose musical praises I will still be singing on my death bed. I loved their sweet melodies and glorious lyrics across an undeservedly empty dance floor (order of appearance was weird and tempo of acts needed to be more complementary) and through a sometimes patchy sound system. Later I introduced myself to Kolliope and enjoyed my favourite moments of the festival... Michelle called me an angel and she and Randolf gave me big cuddles just because I’ve written good things about them... aaaawe. Hit the psytrance stage and always, those guys had the sound sorted. Danced to some guy whose DJ antics resembled the international Eskimo, so when someone asked who the DJ was, I said Eskimo, even though I don’t think there was an international on the 100 plus line up. Psy stage was smaller than last year but the vibe every bit as electric... except when those freak-arse dogs attached themselves by their fun bits, not in traditional doggy style but rear-end to rear-end, in the middle of the dancefloor and looked really bored with the hour or so of attention they were getting. It was bizarre. They were stuck like a couple of Leggo blocks. Some wigged out guy thought pouring cold beer on the attached bits was the solution. Another guy thought he could pick one dog up and revolve it like a corkscrew. Fortunately a giggling kind of common sense prevailed and everyone just let them wait until whatever was supposed to happen happened while we pointed and laughed. It was fucked up... and pretty damn funny. If you were there, you know what I mean. If you’re that totally sick chick who took the photo, please forward it to me – mine didn’t turn out so well. Got some food. Guy was charging guys $1 more than he was charging the girls for the same meals. Next year, Falafel Man, I will have my vengeance *shakes fist at Falafel Man and plots vengeance*

(It's here that I realised I was hopelessly off the rails and had to abort).