Thursday, June 22, 2006

Marcus Sucks Arse

I have made a decision. And that decision is that chefs are the most seriously retarded fucktwats about.

Okay, some are all right, but Jesus, there's this piece of shit who thinks he was put here on the planet to show his minions how to do amazing things like How To Chop Onions. Fucking wow! Or no, Slice The Bread this way... oh I really can't go on. And none of us are his minions. We're all trying to get a job done. That's all. Make the food taste nice and present it well and serve it to the paying customers as though we hope they enjoy their meal. Fucker just doesn't get it. He thinks he's the superstar and if a waiter makes a mistake he comes over all body language and muttery and it just fucks up the working relationship between kitchen staff and service staff. What a numb nut.

He's not quite sure what to make of me (like most humans), and I'm really into being chilled and just getting on with the job, but I do have a fierce streak in me that I might let off the leash tomorrow. I thought it was funny when people were calling me Chef, but this guy expects it and thinks it means something. (With the right kind of chef, maybe it does... but the ones I know don't mind me calling them by their name instead of by their title).

I really loathe people who are condescending and who think part of getting the job done is to make the people they are working with look stupid. This turd of a human has alienated all around him. And I have four more days working with him.

Think I'm just going to point to my bloodied eye with the end of a knife and tell him, "Last fuckwit chef who shouted at me did this. He doesn't shout so much anymore. I made his kids watch me stab his face off before stabbing their faces off. Kinda puts things into perspective, dunnit."

(That was me trying to sound a little like Begby from Train Spotting).

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tell "Chef" that he is now to refer to you as "Author" thanks very much. Now THAT'S flash...

Quick said...

Ha ha. Imagine that.

Luckily he wasn't there today. The vibe was as it should be. No drama queens, no dummy spitting and no shouting. Unfortunately there were no people either, so I got off early.

Amra Pajalic said...

Yep, done the waitressing traps. I think it's a universal thing that chefs are:

1. Sexual deviants and dirty mouthed mother-fuckers.
2. Assholes.

Makes a great combination.

Also I'm linking your blog on mine. All the easier to find you my dear, said the wolf.

Quick said...

Ha! Was JUST on your blog saying the very same thing. About the link, not the chefs. And yeah, there are some good ones, but some of them a fucking loons.

H the Mild said...

'Chef' did a dump on a plate.........brought it out and said "Sniff this....there is no smell - my shit doesn't stink"
It was actually a dish but it looked like a dump.
We, as a group, groaned audibly and walked away leaving her holding the plate. We haven't spoken to her socially or sociably since.
She hasn't apologised ....... don't expect that she will.

Guyana-Gyal said...

There are lots like Chef out there...they HAVE to put others down, must act superior, otherwise they don't feel good about themselves.

He probably feels bad about himself and has to prove how important he is. Ooh, that's what you should say to him, Quick.

Quick said...

Unfortunately I had to work with him again yesterday. He has a really mean personality, gets pleasure out of putting others down. Nasty work. Hoping that's the last job with him.

Anonymous said...

Cry about it.