Saturday, June 17, 2006

Red Eye Special

A couple of other funny things about thumping the daylights out of my eye yesterday... I was standing there with my hand cupped over my eye crying tears of blood (but not really crying) just seconds after doing it and a customer walked over to me and asked if I had this dress but in her size. Good thing she had her priorities sorted.

"What is your size?" I asked without missing a beat, "heartless bitch size?"

Naturally that's not what I said. Didn't even think of it until much later. I told her that no, there's only what's on the rack. I could see her looking at the blood, but all she said was, "Bummer," and went back to looking for her dress. Humans are so odd.

The other really funny thing was that when I got home I realised that I was wearing a top that I have only ever worn at home. Yesterday was the first time I have ever worn it outside the house. It's got this cartoon picture of a cyborg dog, a chihuahua with a couple of fuck off machine guns and the message 'Beware Of The Dog.' Ho ho. Thing is, the dog has an infra red goggle lens thing over its right eye. It's bright red, just like my right eye. Glad it's not a headless pooch.

I have to make up something a little more macho than getting hit in the eye with furniture because I have a feeling I'm going to be resembling Christopher Lee's Dracula for a few more days.


zoe said...

at least your tshirt matched your eye - that's class, that is.

how is your eye doing today ? i'd leave drawer handles alone for a while - they have a terrible reputation for violence.

Quick said...

If you come back tomorrow you will see how the eye is going. I have a totally gross picture of it that I intend to post. I expect to receive international sympathy.

Also, what are you talking about drawer handles? I got into a fight with a street thug and beat the crap out of both of them and all eight of them ran off with their tails tucked between their legs, and the only wound I sustained was a pink eye.