Friday, May 05, 2006

Goddesses, Doormats and Gladiators

Three things I discovered yesterday. First up - Picasso was an arsehole. I guess that's common knowledge, but I'd never read much about him, just assumed that anyone who created such amazing art and loved so many amazing women must be full of passion and... I just bestowed upon him all these good traits, and he was actually a card-carrying nobhead. He actually said "For me, women are either goddesses or doormats." Twat. I mean, people generally are like that - either worthy or not worthy (and it's mostly not worthy) - but you don't say it out loud. He is so off my dream dinner party guestlist. This woman, however, can sit at the head of the table, and we can bitch all night long about what a contemptible twat Picasso was. In any case, I think what Picasso meant was "women are goddesses until a younger one comes along, then I treat them like doormats." The relationship between Picasso and Dora Maar (hmm... Dora Maar almost sounds like it could be Spanish for doormat) has all the ingredients of a great and tragic love story. A movie should be made focusing on their relationship.

The second thing I discovered yesterday was that the extras agency I visited thnks that the facial hair I've grown so fond of makes me look a little camp. I thought it made me look like a gladiator. Like, hello? Since when have gladiators ever been considered camp? Oh... since about forever. At least since the fifties when they were making all those swords and sandals movies. Fuck - that scene in Spartacus when Tony Curtis looked into Kirk Douglas' eyes and, somehow managing not to giggle, said in a manly tone, "I love you Spartacus." And Kirk Douglas - also managing not to giggle - replied, "And... I love you." So, now that I think about it, I'm not so into this gladiator thing. Poofs one and all. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

And the third thing I discovered is that vanilla vodka mixed with Saxby's Ginger Beer is the most exquisitely delicious drink... fucking hell, maybe I am turning into a gladiator... I'd better make like Picasso and shag a goddess.

No comments: