Friday, May 12, 2006

Loins Of Anger (or... It's God's Shout)

I feel a little bit silly. The post below about me being The Emperor and introducing public donging by fluffy toys because nothing has been going my way? Job applications that have been ignored and the magazine that said they would be stoked to have me on board but weren't returning my calls? And the one I didn't mention about the only living person I want to write fiction with deciding that my contribution to our first writing exercise made her "loins angry" (seriously - her words, not mine). I was just generally feeling a bit sorry for myself because God wasn't offering to shout me the next round.

Anyway, I sat down to write a poor-me blarp to... who I like to think of as... Loins Of Anger, and as my finger tips came into contact with the keyboard my phone rang. It was the head of a television company I'd written to asking for a job as some sort of writer, part time because I need something reliable at the moment, and he said congratulations on being the first person in about a hundred to write the kind of intro letter I'm interested in and would I like to come in for an interview next Tuesday.

THEN Men's Health, who I am writing another feature for (fun one about tattoos) and who had asked me to give them a call which naturally made me think they were taking the story away from me... they returned my call and everything is peachy and they are keen to help me out and everything is peachier than an orchard.

AND I was informed by The Dreaded One that there was an email that I had somehow overlooked since Tuesday from the magazine who had previously claimed to be stoked to have me on board saying that they were still dead keen to get me on board and they had a couple of writing jobs for me right now if I was interested and could I please give them a call. How had I missed that one?

And just to reinforce the fact that God had in fact offered to shout the next round, the extras agency I've signed up with but haven't had photos done for yet called to ask if I want to be in some popular drama for a day. Small job, but being on telly can be fun. Haven't done it in ages.

So. There you go. Pays to make threats about public dongings with fluffy toys to all who dare to stir my wrath.

Also, this is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Courtesy of and via Piehole, who is also extraordinarily funny. Check out her site if you haven't already.

"Oi! God! Make it a double, and make it snappy!"

2 comments:

Loins of Anger said...

COWER BEFORE MY FURY!

Quick said...

Gladly.

However... I read that as furry, and if, like, you had angry and furry loins I'd not so much cower as fall over giggling and pointing. I'm now considering updating your blogname to Furry Loins Of Anger.

In fact it's done. Rise, oh Furry Loins Of Anger...